Near where we sat was a sign that advertised positions for chefs and waitresses. It read "Experience preferred but not essential". I guess the fact that they were willing to hire chefs with absolutely no experience should have warned us about what was to come.

Service was terrible. We walked in and there was nobody at the door. We had to approach a waitress to be seated. She then placed us in the alfresco area outside, which apparently was the equivalent of banishing us to Siberia because hardly any waitstaff would visit this area during our entire meal. After ordering, we waited 20 minutes for our food, and after finally flagging down a waitress, we were told to wait another 10. How long does it take to cook pasta??

The carbonara pasta finally arrived. The sauce was strangely curdled and left a powdery aftertaste in the mouth - obviously a sign of bad cooking because it meant the sauce had been boiled too long and the parmesan had not melted properly. The linguine was way overcooked, like kuay tiao soaked in soup for too long. The plate itself was greasy to the touch. And of course, thanks to the bad service, it took another ten minutes for the other pasta dish to arrive, which meant by the time I got my food my boyfriend had finished his already (he scoffed it down even though it was so bad, because by this time we were starving).

The pesto penne was a little better. I ordered it with chorizo, olives and eggplant and they were cooked decently. The pesto and the penne were edible and tasty. But the dish was swimming in oil.

We polished off our food, and thus began the waiting game again. Another ten minutes before a waitress popped over to check on Siberia, another ten before we got the bill, and another ten before we got our credit card back.

I remember coming here when I was 16 on a date with my first boyfriend and being very impressed back then by the food and dining experience. 10 years on, I can safely say that I have the exact opposite impression. Either standards have slipped immensely or perhaps it's always been this crappy and my 16 year old self just didn't know any better. Whatever it is, I will not be coming back again.

(postscript: as I type this my boyfriend is rolling around on his bed groaning and complaining that his stomach feels funny because of the carbonara. Enough said.)