Sori I just can’t decide which is a better title to catch your eye. Just in case you are planning to traipse up this trendiest street in town to uncover new gourmet havens...so…just in case…hmm…I better forewarn.

When news broke that the former Les Saisons Chef has returned to set up his eponymous restaurant, I was raring to go test the waters since I never did get the chance to dine at the former Les Saisons for some reason or another Saint Pierre at Central Mall (the previous location) always seemed like a more alluring option whenever I’m in the region.

There is a set Lunch option going at $38++, consisting of amuse bouche, a choice of 4 starters and mains, and an option of 2 desserts, with coffee/ tea. Naturally like I said I was “testing the waters”, set lunch selection may not be the most veritable gauge to Chef Joanny’s culinary prowess. Hence we opted for the $90 degustation course (6 courses + coffee/tea + petit fours).

Bread was served, not bad actually, considering it was served really warm, and was multi-grained, tasty and nice on the stomach with a small pat of butter. Though I swear it’s not the premium French Echire butter I get elsewhere, I’m not complaining about this.

1. starter: Perle Blanche oyster and Tartare of Langoustine and Ikura, Chilled Vine Tomato Consommé – the oyster lacked the ‘sea’ factor; tomato consommé was chilled alright, but it isn’t pleasant, akin to panna cotta consistency, neither sweet nor sour, just horrid. Langoustine had a dubious fishy smell.

2. starter: Crispy Pastilla of Blue Prawn and Basil Light Lobster Bisque – I think LJS can do a better shrimp fry.

3. starter: Pan Roasted Duck Foie Gras, Caramelized Green Apple with Lemong****, Sakura Salad – There was no Oomph to this liver. The duck liver somehow wasn’t seared to the correct char on the exterior. There wasn’t even a tang of lemongrass. Sakura salad was non existent. And that little soupçon of Maldon Salt seemed every bit superfluous in this context. It had no business to be on the foie gras in the first place.

4. starter: Roasted Cod Fish Simple Ratte Potato Puree Mussel/ Iranian Saffron Emulsion – Fish was ok….there wasn’t any hint of mussel anywhere in the puree though there was Kurobuta LARD within the mash as I was told by the manager himself when I quizzed him. LARD…and I thought it was pork bacon.

Interlude course - Lemon Sorbet - Tangy and refreshing to cleanse the palate.

5. Main: Slow Baked French River Sander Fish, Dou Miao and Crispy Parmesan Lace, Cardamom Infused Carrot Jus. I chose this as my main. The fish itself was delicate and gracefully yielded under my knife (no fish spoon?) This erm…perhaps was the only saving grace of this meal.

Yep. Found Four Bones in my fish of which one of those lucky chaps got stuck in my gullet I had to excuse myself for regurgitating purposes in the washroom. Eew. Bones? Never in my fine dining experiences have I encountered bones in my fish. At my favoritest place they painstakingly de-bone the fish in its entirety before my very eyes. Oh my GAWD. That totally spells the end of lunch coz I think I will faint if I discover anymore misdemeanors in the imminent dessert course.

5. Main: 200 days Grain Fed Angus Beef Tenderloin Foie Gras Ravioli Bordelaise Sauce and Morel Mushroom (add $10++) – The Friend chose this with meat done medium rare. The doneness part was ok, a lit’ bloody but Friend liked it, especially the morel mushroom sauce which she dutifully mopped up with an extra roll of bread.

(Rack of Lamb from Tasmania, Edamame Bean Ragout Parmesan Emulsion – the 3rd option available as main course in this degustation menu)

6. dessert: White Chocolate Soup Soft Jivara Chocolate and White Truffle Drop – Did an obligatory taste test. Nothing great except the element of truffle that was quite prevalent. Not a good thing for me coz I don’t like my desserts to be tasting of anything else except sweet. I found a dissonance of flavor/ clash of taste coz there was only chaos within the soup, and merely a slight nuance of the stated white chocolate. The Friend commented it was flavorsome though.

Service was WOLS. I had to ask for water like 5 times before the waiter grudgingly came to my rescue lest my throat gets parched to death. And The Little Tea was paucity in audacity, for it was served in an espresso cup. Such daintiness in this French affair thus closed on its final chapter with a chocolate truffle petit four.

Camera went on strike. So I just ate what I could get out of the $90 and let The Friend capture all the wrongdoings of fine dining. And I’m so allowed to plagiarize her lovely photos for the sake of this review so please venture here for your viewing pleasure and decide upon yourself if you would want to bring woe at your own risk.

In my case, I have already decided this is another restaurant to be expelled to the Hall of Shame. My advice is to visit less of these establishments which have sinned in mediocrity. Save more moolah and make your virgin trip (if you haven’t) down to this place. Now that’s unparalleled 1st-class haute French fine dining at its acme.

Ps: Oh dang...job hazard. Forgot I wasn’t supposed to write beyond point form.

pps: Addendum: I just found out that the LARD(balls) the manager was talking about are LARDONS. erm...