22 September, 2008
That the owners of the establishment dare not christen it a restaurant should prime one’s expectations of both food and drink. The beverages, which almost invariably come out of cans or bottles, presumably satisfy the quality control of their originating factory, so one cannot much complain where drinks are concerned. The food did not disappoint my suitably low expectations either. I count myself somewhat fortunate that I ordered a blue cheese burger the night I visited, for the meat patty, bland as to be insipid, and, I think, newly defrosted, was in sore need of a transfusion of flavour from any source at all. The salad on the side consisted of an assortment of limp leaves covered in some thin brown attempt at balsamic vinegar. The best part of the meal, one opines, was the chips, which came heavily salted and delightfully greasy, both of which factors contributing to their crispiness. The proprietors had the foresight, it seems, to place some of the tables in the open, allowing the ambience much benefit from the work of others who designed or renovated the erstwhile convent. Some might find the trickle of water down a background wall a novel notion, and no doubt it serves to fill a silence which most of the diners, from what I noticed of them, would probably have found obscene. Not even a water feature could completely redeem the bar from their guffawing. Caveat emptor: demand a receipt. The original bill came up to slightly over S$93 inclusive of the customary mélange of taxes, which you might think quite reasonable for four servings of food and beer besides. But one of my companions, upon his return to the joint (he was a regular whom the staff knew by sight, and had recommended the place to me), was accused of not paying the bill previously, and coerced into forking out another $93. Unless you absolutely need the waterfall in close proximity to distract you from your apprehensions about the quality of the food, try getting a table indoors: the waiters and waitresses here have the annoying tendency of forgetting—I hope not intentionally—diners not directly under their noses. On this particular visit, they ignored three separate requests for water, though the attention they paid to profitable Caucasians remained predictably unimpaired.